16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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