rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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