Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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