I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
