dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
