I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
