You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
