her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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