he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
