The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
