If that was your dad, he is hot
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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