i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
