My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
