from now on my penis is your penis
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
