My room smells like vodka and shame
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was like eating out sand paper
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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