You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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