i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
