so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Pants are for mortals
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
