STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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