Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
