Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
