oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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