Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
