Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Even my vagina gasped.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
