I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
