Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
