She's JV to your varsity
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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