dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
