So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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