Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
