he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
