Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
