How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
