You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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