Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
