I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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