last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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