Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
