you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
