Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
