at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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