I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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