so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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