You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
