Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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