My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
its not stalking. its research.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
