do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
