sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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