Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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