the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
