its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
